G has been alive for more than half a year. It’s insane to me how different my life is now, and how normal this all seems. How has it been so long already? He’s growing so fast.
It’s been more than two months since I’ve written. I’m just so tired and now that I’m working, I spend all my free time either with G or getting things ready for work the next day. My typical routine:
6:30am – Wake up to happy shrieks and squeals. Put G in swing and hope he falls back asleep for an hour, please god just give me one more hour.
6:45am – Just get up already. Change, feed, clothe, entertain G while getting ready for work. Do some rolling around on the bed because he’s just so happy in the morning and I can’t bear that I spend so little time with him. Go to work.
Pump for, like, hours at work. (In reality, it’s 3x for 20 minutes each time, but it feels like I’m hooked up to that damn machine all the fucking time.) Leave work at 6pm and pick G up from daycare.
6:45pm – Get home and go straight into bath/bedtime. G is usually in his crib by 8.
8pm – Eat dinner then start with the never-ending routine of washing bottles, filling bottles, labeling bottles, washing pump parts, reassembling pump parts, packing G’s stuff for daycare, packing breakfast and lunch for myself for work, starting laundry, getting ready for bed
Midnight – Get into bed
12:15 am – Wake up to nurse G because it’s like he’s psychic and knows when I’ve juuuuuust dropped off to sleep
4am – Wake up to nurse again. May or may not be designated “baby party time” complete with squeals of delight for an hour before falling asleep again
5am – Hopefully back to sleep after the 4-5am Happy Baby Rave ends
6:30am – Start everything all over again
Since my last post? Well, I was lucky and found an incredible daycare just 7-8 minutes from my work. I adore the woman who runs G’s room. I wish I could take her with me wherever he goes from now on. I just love her. She is sweet and enthusiastic and goes above and beyond the job requirements. She does art with him (my refrigerator is COVERED with paint footprint crafts!) and works really hard to make sure he gets at least one nap a day (he’s a tummy sleeper, but isn’t allowed at daycare and can’t roll over on his own yet, so she works really hard to get him to sleep on his back).
I love her. I love her so much. In fact, I had a job interview on Thursday and while I’d LOVE this opportunity, I’m also afraid I might get it because if I do… I’ll have to move daycares. It’s like 20 minutes away from my current workplace and would add an hour to my daily commute to keep him where he is. But… I just love it so much. I love her. I feel so lucky that we found this place.
G barely sleeps, but he’s still SO HAPPY there. When I go to pick him up after work, he twinkles at me. Smiles huge and kicks and squeals his happiness. One of the first days I had him there, when I was still heartbroken and nervous, I went to pick him up and he was being held by a woman I hadn’t met and he was just giving her belly laugh! This was back in the days when he rarely laughed still, and I’d never heard him laugh like that. It was like a balm on my heart to hear him so happy.
Anyway, what else? Well, G has developed a suspicion of strangers. He’s not afraid yet, and doesn’t have any sort of separation anxiety but he just watches them. Quietly. Rarely smiles. Never laughs. Just watches.
He’s discovered his sense of humor. Previously he would only laugh at tickles, but now he laughs at the dogs and funny faces. His absolute favorite, though? He LOVES watching videos of himself! He’ll watch them and just laugh! And he loves that silly baby in the mirror, too!
We’re starting solid foods. He loves peanut butter, but the pediatrician told us not to give it to him until 1 year. I think it’s kind of silly… peanut allergies have increased since it became standard to delay introduction. But we’re holding off on giving him more. He also loves bananas! And grilled zucchini. Not a fan of purees, though. His favorite is just spitting them out.
He’s had three ear infections and countless colds and one really awful stomach virus since starting daycare. The worst was the double ear infection. He had such a fever and he was just miserable and in pain. One day, he spent the entire day just moaning and moaning. I was so sad for him. The doctor briefly discussed ear tubes, but his ears cleared quickly on antibiotics so that’s on hold for now.
He’s not sitting on his own yet, and doesn’t roll from back to tummy. I’m a little worried, but I think he can and just chooses not to. He rolled from back to tummy once because there was a toy he wanted. I was looking at him, turned around to get something, turned back 2 seconds later and he was on his tummy with the entire dog toy stuffed in his mouth. Yum! So I know he can do it if he has proper motivation. :)
As for his weight issues… he’s still too skinny. He lost weight after daycare started because he got a tummy virus. Ate fine but had awful diarrhea for over a week. Then when he had his ear infections, it was really hard to get him to eat because his nose was so stuffed up and he was just in pain. The doctors got concerned and suggested supplementing with formula, as if I don’t make enough milk. I make so much milk that freezer storage space is becoming an issue. I could seriously feed an army of babies. The problem is getting the milk IN the baby, and if I’m having trouble feeding him breastmilk, I highly doubt formula will be easier (MSPI formulas taste AWFUL).
Currently he’s measuring at 81st percentile for height and 9th percentile for weight. So still tall but wayyyy too skinny for my liking.
What else? Well… I didn’t think it would happen, but I’m dying to have another. I know, I know. I KNOW! Crazy! But I just love this little guy so much. He’s such a complete joy. He’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life and I think he’d be such a good big brother. My Grammie died recently and my dad went to be with his brother and sisters, and all I could think about was how my husband and I will die someday and G will be alone. I can’t stomach that thought. I want him to have a little brother (or sister, but for some reason, I just really want him to have a brother). And I think that now that I’ve got a bit of the rhythm down, another baby won’t be so hard. I’ll at least know what to do. I told my husband and he thinks I’m crazy. He hasn’t forgotten the early days (the Screaming Days, we call them) but he said we can revisit the idea in a few years.
Now I just need to get that dream job (and stop worrying about daycare) so we can get on with it.