Last Saturday was the baby shower. My best friend put together such a wonderful event, with lovely decorations and MIL cooked such a delicious spread for us. I met new in-laws I hadn’t met before and got to reconnect with friends we see too rarely. It was overwhelming with so many people, but it was a good day. I felt so loved.
The Sunday after was my birthday, and Sunday also marked 29 weeks pregnant with my little guy. It’s going by so quickly, the weeks kind of fly by these days. I was more excited about hitting 29 weeks than I was about my birthday. I’ve been in such a weird place emotionally lately. I asked that no one acknowledge my birthday if possible. Of course, it didn’t work and I still got a gift from my mother-in-law and went to see a movie (Guardians of the Galaxy, very fun) and made a cake with my husband. I ended up returning the gift, because my mother-in-law always buys things that are very thoughtful, but are not my style at all. I really wish she’d just get me gift cards, but I guess part of the fun of giving someone a gift is picking it out for them. I got a pink nightgown that was too small and that isn’t my style besides, so I returned it and got some sweet little baby things. All I can focus on lately is preparing for baby, which is part of why I didn’t want my birthday acknowledged. If I’d had my way entirely, the money we spent on cake mix and the movie would have gone into my maternity leave fund. All I want these days is more time at home after baby arrives. I just want more time with my baby. 12 weeks is too little to leave him with someone who isn’t me, and those 12 weeks aren’t even guaranteed… I might have as little as 8 if we can’t afford me to be out of work for that long.
Don’t get me started on how the US is the only civilized country that doesn’t guarantee any sort of paid leave for new parents. I don’t even get FMLA because I’m a contractor, so I might not have a job to go back to at all.
Tomorrow we’re going to the mountains for a sort of “college roommate reunion” for my husband. The guys all try to do this once every year or two, and no one’s gotten married this year (and thus no excuse to gather somewhere), so they decided to rent a house in the mountains for the weekend. I’m looking forward to it, but also dreading it. I’m so tired lately, and I know I won’t be able to get away with being solitary and sleepy all weekend. Sunday will be 30 weeks. 10ish more weeks of waiting for my little guy. See? It’s all I can think about these days.
I’ve been having hiccups lately. Like, not me, but the little guy. I can feel them and it’s so funny. They just feel like tiny little thumps, not moving around, very rhythmic. Bump… bump… bump… for about a minute and then they stop.
When I returned the gift from my mother-in-law, I used the store credit to buy a little footed sleeper and a little set with a onesie, pants and a fleece zip up (I wanted a baby coat, but the stores don’t start carrying winter things for another little while!) I realized it was the first clothing items that I’d gotten for him. I didn’t register for clothes and other people got us some things, but we have been so frugal that we hadn’t bought any yet. The sleeper is blue and white striped with monster feet and a little monster on the butt. It’s so little (and also so big… I can’t believe he’ll get that big inside me!)
Okay. Time to go to work. Long days this week, preparing for being out of work tomorrow. I love the mountains.
Size of babe: My little guy weighs about 2.5lbs this week and is around 15 inches long from head to foot. So little.
Maternity Clothes: How is it that I’m already outgrowing the maternity clothes I bought two weeks ago? My skirts are already getting tighter!
Nursery: Nothing additional done yet, but we did get a lovely pennant banner from the baby shower to hang in his room and a framed picture of a spaceship that says “Dream big, little one”. It’s unbelievably sweet.
Sleep: I can’t settle down at night these days. I’ll go to bed at 1am or 3am because I can’t get my mind to slow down. Then I work all day and I come home exhausted, and I can’t sleep again that night. It’s wearing on me, and it’s been making my emotional state a little more … um… volatile, I guess. I’ll cry over anything lately.
What I miss: This week? I miss being able to have a drink or two. I didn’t drink for almost a year before I got pregnant anyway, so it’s not like I gave it up just for baby. But I keep thinking about how I love a good summer sangria. Red wine, orange juice, maybe pineapple juice, something fizzy, some fruit. So yum.
Best moment this week: The baby shower. I felt so loved and we got so many nice things. I can’t believe so many people care about us and are so excited about little Baby S.
Worst moment this week: Yesterday, when I started thinking about how much I miss my mother (it’s doubly hard because we’ve been seeing my mother-in-law so much more often recently and I’ve been feeling so resentful toward her for no reason except that I don’t ever get to see my own mom…) I hate sharing this with everyone except my own mom. It feels so lonely. I’m glad she can come visit after baby is born, but I wish I could be excited about kicks and getting all round and going baby shopping with her.
Looking forward to: A relaxing mountain weekend. Hopefully relaxing, anyway. There will be so many people there, so this introvert is also half-dreading it!
Cravings: Nothing big. Sangria. Still watermelon, but I’ve calmed down on eating it every day. :)
Symptoms: Back pain. Incredible lower back pain, just above my butt. It’s a sharp, stabbing, unexpected pain that comes when I least expect it. I’ll be fine and then I move a certain way and it’s so painful that I can’t move or breathe or think and I have to straighten my body out so it stops hurting. I think it’s probably related to the other pelvic pain I’m dealing with.