I like to listen to audiobooks. I know it’s not really “reading”, but since I usually do it while I’m driving, I’ll trade a little bit of the visual activity of reading for, you know, safety and legality. Even so, I still call it “reading”, mostly because it sounds really weird to say “I listened to a book the other day…”
I finished listening to a book today on the drive home from the gym. Well, almost finished. I have about 7 minutes to go, and I can’t bring myself to finish it. Why? Because it’s about a dog dying.
Who the hell writes books about dogs dying? Why the hell did I think it would be okay to listen to this? 90% of the book was about something else, and then all of a sudden, BAM dying dog and I’m driving down the highway at 65 miles an hour SOBBING, tears just pouring down my face and I can’t even wipe them away because I was wearing glasses that I couldn’t take off because I was driving. And SOBBING. Because there’s no way to get me crying faster than making me think about my own dogs dying. (Note, is this because I don’t have children yet? Maybe it will change? I don’t know.)
So I got home and my face is puffy and red and tears will not stop streaming down my face. I’m sure my husband thought something was really wrong. But all I could get out was “there was a book… there was a book…” before I couldn’t talk anymore. Seriously, just thinking about it now. I want to cry again.
I don’t think I’m hormonal anymore. I don’t know what my deal is right now.
I seriously need to chill the fuck out. And hug my dogs a little.
Today’s workout: heavy squats. Again. We were supposed to go 5×3 at 90%, which would bring me right around 150-155lbs. I knew that wasn’t going to happen, based on my 5×3 a couple weeks ago, so I was shooting for 135 or 145 instead. I did 115 – 135 – 145 (failed on rep 3) – 125 – 130 – 130
The set of 145 was definitely doable, but… I think I’m holding my breath too much. Or something. I got so lightheaded on the third rep that I couldn’t get up. I felt my head buzzing and knew if I tried, I would pass out, so I shed the weight and went down a lot for the next set. And then, because I’m perverse like this, I went back up to 130 and finished there.
Metcon was a 5 minute AMRAP of shuttle runs and then snatches. The run was supposed to be a sprint, but I don’t sprint. I did go as fast as I felt comfortable, though. It was a 50m shuttle, then 100m shuttle (50 meters out and back, 100 meters out and back, for a total of 300 meters) then snatches at 55lbs. Rx was 65lbs. In hindsight, I could have done it, but I’d have gone much slower. I got somewhere around 18-20 snatches, but reported 18 because I may have lost count. I’m going to stop giving myself the benefit of the doubt on things, so I can be sure I’m not accidentally cheating. I think I did 19, but I’m not confident enough to have that on the whiteboard.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a shower and cry while thinking about my dogs dying.